enjoymyatelier: i hope not (what did i have to drink last night)
I'm beginning to suspect this is all some sort of elaborate hallucination.

[The thought, while obviously coming from the man sitting half-submerged in the water and fishing on Route 34, is not directed at the camera. Is he even aware he's being filmed...? Anyway, it seems to be directed to the Xatu sitting next to him and staring off into the distance as Xatu are wont to do.

Really, the situation is even stranger given the fact that he seems to be wearing a hooded jacket in summer, though it should be noted that it's at least a kind of fashionable hooded jacket instead of some cheapo thing. Otherwise, we can presume that Kayneth would have spontaneously self-immolated from shame. It is kind of telling that you can't see his face, though... And... oh, did the Pokemon even respond?]


Yes, all of it. From the very beginning. How could it not be? From the omnipresent music to the... to the technicolor nonsensical magical beasts to the...

[...he trails off. Whoever (whatever?) is holding the camera moves closer, in a sort of 'you okay bro?' motion. Understandable, given that he doesn't sound good at all.]

This. -Don't you even start with that. Aren't you Pokemon supposed to be obedient? I will absolutely not hear anything about denial. It's the most reasonable explanation for all this.

...That has absolutely nothing to do with it at all. I took all necessary precautions when developing it. You're just proving my point, anyway, because how else would you know-

...

Why would you even think that was acceptable?!

[...after that outburst, he pretty obviously winces. There's a very concerned... giant... salamander... noise...? from behind the camera, which causes Kayneth to turn slightly and oh god are those facefins?]

...Salvador, put that down. You'll break it.
enjoymyatelier: WHAT IN THE GOOD LORD'S NAME WAS THAT (JESUS MARY AND JOSEPH)
[VOICE]

[It seems as though someone's Pokegear is malfunctioning! Well it's not like that never happens, right? The audio feed seems to be cutting in and out. The first time it cuts in, it's possible to hear the sound of crumbling rock and the sound of someone who may or may not have just sprained his ankle. Also a... Wooper...

...the second time it cuts in, though, a highly annoyed (and somewhat pained) voice can be heard.]


-even believe this. This place is such a-

[And, possibly as a convenient censor, the feed cuts off again, though it resumes fairly quickly.]

-had such bad luck. This never would have happened-

[aaaand it cuts out again. Of course, a moment or so after that point, it switches to text.]

[TEXT]

I would presume that at least someone here has experience with the Ruins of Alph, so I want to know any important details. Has the location been mapped out to any degree? I have already come to the conclusion that the puzzles are to be approached with caution, but if they have any other properties, I'd certainly like to hear about them.

[...GOD, HE HAS NO IDEA, DOES HE...]

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enjoymyatelier: kayneth fooling you into thinking he's a cool dude by standing in the shadows (Default)
Kayneth El-Melloi Archibald

June 2025

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